Depression

The most important thing on the path of recovery for a neuro-musculo-skeletal injury is a positive outlook.
I find it hard to be optimistic in the face of such severe and recurring pain.
I was just on the verge of regaining my confidence for life when the ditch induced relapse happened.

I have since stopped writing in my 'Prosaic Ramblings' blog. I try to keep the pain part of me restricted to this blog. Prosaic Ramblings was born when I was in a happy frame of mind. And I try to keep the posts there short and funny. This blog is like my pain diary.

I am completely beaten down at the moment. My entire project team has gone out to lunch. I could not accompany them because I was afraid to risk my vulnerable back on the newly rained over potholes strewn all over SaltLake Sector V. Also, I would have found the chairs in the restaurant uncomfortable. Being left alone like this does no good to my mood. A while back hubby came over to my desk and discussed this year's promotion prospects. I do not stand a chance at promotion this year(or any year for the matter) primarily because nobody stands behind me. But hubby could have spared me this depressing talk when I was in so much physical pain and suffering from an acute sense of isolation.

I have observed an emotional gap with hubby post my accident about 10 months back. He does not feel my pulse and therefore cannot comfort me in times of my back related distress. As I had written in one of my earlier posts, I feel the need to have a heart-to-heart chat with someone. Alas, the only deep conversation I have these days are with Goddess Kali when I admonish her for causing me so much suffering.