Bad Times

I am currently extremely upset.
My back is aching horribly in a different way for the past 7 days. I went to see the doctor yesterday and he  had nothing conclusive to say (yet again). I have promised my hubby not to see the medical articles for back pain. And just a while ago, my manager told me that the company cannot sponsor my hubby's trip here to get me back - the reason being company policy. It's a miracle how they can state company policy when somebody is ill and alone in a foreign country. They never seem to take any account of any company policy otherwise. This company sickens me to my stomach. I am just dying to be out of it.

I feel like crying my heart out. I have been doing a lot of that lately. Could be PMS. Or it could be that I cannot take it anymore. Why is God trying me? Why the darkened skies all around me? Will I ever be pain free again? I just want to go home and be with my hubby. Big tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this.